From stalkers, To Superstars

Note from Daniel: This is a new comedy wrestling article where clebrity stalkers write to their favourate wrestlers, depending the reception of the articles, i'll see how much I expand the series.

My Letter to Zack Ryder

Why I should be Broski of the Week.

Dear Zack, Mr Ryder, Long Island Iced Z

HI Zack. I am sending this letter in the hope that you consider me to be the next Broski of the Week. I think I am a perfect candidate and I truly hope you consider my plea. I like to think of myself as a mini Zack Ryder (well I’m seven foot eight and weigh as much as a small truck, but you know what I mean).  Being named Broski of the Week would give me something to live for. Also, my Therapist would be overjoyed, as she has been encouraging me to assert myself. 

I think I’m a perfect candidate for Broski of the week. I too share a love for boy bands. I can be found in many a discothèque on a Saturday night boogying to the Backstreet Boys, New Kids on the Block and my personal favourite N-Sync. Just last week I got in a fight with a local DJ who insisted that  POP By N-Sync was not the greatest song in the world and in fact was actually a “Footnote in mediocrity”. However, Zack I managed to convince him otherwise and I am sure N-Sync will now be a major part of his life (as I inserted one Vinyl copy of POP into his rectum).

Another reason that I should be considered to be Broski of the Week is my impressive skills with the ladies. I don’t mean to brag but I am quite the ladies man. It is very rare that any female will say no to my advances. Being somewhat overweight and with facial growths that disgust, one Doctor stated ‘The Elephant man has more physical appeal’ you may ask how is it that I get any ladies? Well Zack, the answer to that is persistence. 

When I see a woman that appeals to me, which is pretty much any woman, I beg and plead and beg and plead until they say yes. Sometimes if a woman is especially hard willed I break out my special move. I won’t go into too much detail, but it involves excessive weeping and handcuffing myself to their ankle. Now some people may see this as a tad pathetic, but I know Zack that you will not be one of them. I know that you will appreciate the effort I go to attract the opposite sex. If you make me Broski of the week, I will be happy to teach you everything I know, because let’s face it you’re not much to look at yourself. 

 I am not just a fan of you as a person but as an entertainer. One of my dreams in life is to barely appear on television and you are achieving that dream ‘week in week out’. Not only do you steal the show in the five seconds that you are on it, but you are completely selfless by allowing all the other talent the WWE has to offer to appear on the show instead of you. I mean if the WWE put the titles on the Bella’s then surely the creative team has been knocking down your door to give you a huge push. 

I know everything about your career and can beckon on your greatest work at anytime. From your Wrestlemania 27 appearance where you allowed Roddy Pipper to hit you on the head with a coconut all for the sake of comedy to one of the greatest matches of all time. Yes, your number one contender match against Sheamus.  OK, Sheamus may have got lucky that night, but your performance in that match proved to the world that you will be a jewel in the WWE crown for many years to come. 

What I’m trying to say is Zack; I know you and love you, maybe more than your own parents (you would never find me dressed up like John Morrison). I think we share a bond unparalleled by anybody. If you made me Broski of the Week, I believe that we have the potential to become the new Mork and Mindy, the new Turner and Hooch, The new Woody and Buzz. 

I hope you consider my request and I look forward to your reply. If you don’t want send me a letter back, you will be able to find me in the bushes outside your house every Thursday night from the hours of 10.pm to 1.am. 

With all my heart, proud member of the Zack Pack,

Daniel Morris. 

P.S If you make me Broski of the Week, I will show you my extensive wrestling action figure collection. I have over 70 different wrestlers, all missing their heads. 

Thanks for reading. Hope you enjoyed it. I'm planning to write a film/comic article sometime soon. Don't forget to add me on facebook.

Daniel Morris

Consistency is Key

This is my first wrestling article for my blog. I’ve had a few ideas for my first article, but something happened this past Monday Night Raw that made my decision for me. John Cena became the new number one contender. Again.

Don’t get me wrong, I have no problem with Cena being the number one contender. It actually makes sense at the moment, as I would rather have Punk’s rise back to the title a slow one. The thing that actually annoyed me is the same reason I’m not a Cena fan. I don’t mind Cena’s limited move set and can bare his cheesy personality as it appeals to some people. The thing that really bothers me about John Cena is the discrepancies in his personality. No matter how much I try, I just can’t look past the inconsistency that is Cena’s character. 

As I previously stated I can tolerate John Cena’s personality. It appeals to kids and I realise that every character is not supposed to be liked by everyone. I quite like some of his character to an extent. I like the honourable side of John Cena. I think it works. A guy who will do anything to defend the honour of himself, the company and the fans that pay to see him. A guy who’s morals and do-what-is-right attitude means more to him than any championship would. This is a well rounded character, which will provide conflict for other characters. It provides the creative team with an interesting character with plenty of story arcs to play with.

However, John Cena isn’t this character. He is this man only half the time. He is the man who hates Alberto Del Rio for the disrespect of the belt, yet he is happy to wear a belt that literally meant nothing. He’s the man who thinks you should be respectable, but is happy to hit a woman. He is the man who doesn’t like not playing by the rules, but is happy to bury his opponent in chairs. He is the man who thinks honour and respect are the most important things in the world, but is happy to pick up a victory to become number one contender, when his opponent is distracted. 

That’s exactly what John Cena did this Monday. He was happy to take advantage of Punk, when he was distracted. This is not the character they set up for Cena. I am fully aware this could be the start of a heel turn or a bigger angle, but this Monday isn’t the first time they have shifted Cena’s character about.

I don’t think that creative have to turn Cena heel to make him more susceptible to fans. Have him as the guy that would rather not be a champion than win it dishonourably. OK his character then may not attract a more mature audience. But, he doesn’t have to. You can have other characters to appeal to that demographic. But, in my honest opinion you need to keep him consistent .

Name Change

Update: There has been a change here at Blog Dan. That change is the new name. This is due to the fact that I think Spandex and Cinema Screens conveys what this blog is about and that is Wrestling, Comics and Movies. Although, I will probably post other random odds and ends, these three topics are my main areas of interest. Also, I think Spandex and Cinema Screens is quite a good title. I hope you do too.

I will hopefully posting my first wrestling orientated post later in the week.

Enjoy
Dan

Review of the Summer of Film

I thought I best post here today. So I’m just going to write a quick recap on this Summers films. Having seen most of the films this summer I think I'll be able to cover it extensively. But please remember this is just my opinion, so don't go starting a lynch mob if you disagree.

Top three films this summer: Super Eight, Hanna and Rise of the Planet of the Apes.

Straight away you may wonder why Hanna is on the list. Not because it's a bad movie, but due to its release date. Hanna came out in May, which in film terms I would class as Summer. Also, my list, my rules. Ha. 
Super Eight is one of the best summer blockbusters that I have seen in recent years. The film contains a perfect blend of action and emotion. I'm not going to go into too much detail, but Super Eight is a great film that everyone should see.

Although, not as good, Hanna is similar to Super Eight in its terms of action and emotional truth. It was just so refreshing to see a director just have fun with his filmmaking and the result is a movie that is a pleasure to watch.

To conclude the top three we have Rise of the Planet of the Apes. It's quite funny to think that my top 3 favourite films of the summer occurred at either the start of summer of the end of summer. Apart from the long winded title (couldn't they just call it Rise of the Apes?) Apes is great. There are a few problems with it (subtitled sign language) but for the most part it is a fun film.

Honourable mention: I think it's hard to talk about this summer without mentioning Harry Potter 7 Part 2. I grew up with Harry Potter and I have to say that the last film was a fitting tribute. Not in the top three films I have seen this summer, but definitely one of the better films of the summer, if not the year.

Worst three films of the summer: Sucker Punch, Green Lantern, Pirates 4

I'm not going to write too much about these films as they all suck. Don't see them. Fact.

Overall: I think this summer has been one of the best in recent years. I think Thor and Captain America were also pretty solid and I'm definitely looking forward to the Avengers. Pirates 4 and Transformers 3 weren't good, but not bad enough to ruin the summer.

Overall I will rate this summer a 7/10 for films.

Hope you enjoyed the column. Also, go to the movies more. It's great.

DM

Welcome to My house of virtuality

Welcome Guests. I have wanted somewhere to post for a while. Just jumbled up ramblings of whatever takes my fancy really, but a spot to voice my ever so humble opinion nonetheless. Due to the fact that i'm skinter than skint my plan of buying a website for the time being is KAPUT. So for the time being this free blog is my home.
I will write about whatever takes my fancy but my three biggest interests are wrestling, movies and comics so I imagine my posts will relate to all that. In the future I may have guest bloggers on here as I would like a lot of material. So if anyone is interested let me know.

For the time being, enjoy your life and I'll enjoy mine.
Dan